shitty first draft

Just thinking about writing this first draft gave me nightmares as much as I hate writing papers I really didn't think I was going to enjoy my topic at all or be able to relate to it enough to hit the eight hundred word minimum. This was my first time writing a paper in months and it definitely took a while to get the rust off but even when I did I wasn't just firing out words like I used to or how they said in the shitty first drafts, I'm not sure if I was trying to be more selective with my word choice or literally just had no idea what to write about but this being a first draft also gave me a little more freedom with word choice, sentence structure, and ideas. I have never been one for writing multiple drafts of an essay so I took this opportunity of being forced into it to just kinda put it all out there and clean it up as I go on and make further revisions. I can definitely see how writing this draft compared to shitty first drafts but that was mainly for the quality of the work in many ways I just couldn't relate to what she was saying in her work or when I tried to use them it just wasn't working well.